Move on up

I recently found this really swell pair of shoes. It has been about two years since I started looking for shoes for casual wearing but I couldn't find anything I really really liked, untill then. They were one of those handmade leather boots with awesome straps with buckles on sides, heels, slightly pointed tips and all but the price tag told me to forget about them, even after some 60% discount. I still went to the store another two times and really felt more relieved then disappointed when I found they were sold.

The trouble is that I found it to be a rather ordinary way for me to act when it comes to something I want but know at the same time that there is a reason to abandon my wishes. It might be ok with boots, not in other cases because the problem does't always disappear. It just blurs the clear view of my path and I get lost. There are clearly only two options, neglect the cons and go for the goal or find a new aim. While I'm totaly aware of it, when I try to decide, I get scared again that I might not succeed, or I even get sure about it and refrain but I still cling to the idea of proceeding some other day and don't look for a new direction. This can keep me in one place for a long time, which is disturbing/frustrating but difficult to fight anyway. It's difficult to find a new source of energy that would help me to get through, because new energy often comes with setting on a new path. Trapped. Without a new vision I don't get energy to move on and I can't (or don't feel like, at least) proceed without enough power, without being motivated. And the temptation persists leaving me lagging behind while life is speeding on.

***
Hush now child, and don't you cry
Your folks might understand you by and by
Move on up towards your destination
You may find from time to time
Complications

Bite your lip and take a trip
Though there may be wet road ahead
You cannot slip
So move on up and peace you will find
...
Curtis Mayfield